#46.”Fiddyn Maafin Babay Ya!”

First of all, Happy Eid Mubarak for all my muslim family around the world. After a full-month we held and resisted carnal desire and all prohibited stuffs only for Allah’s blessing. May all of us becoming a blessed person and back to ‘Al-Fitr’, taintless person amen!

Anyway, I wanna share my latest Lebaran experience. In addition to fact that I did not ‘Pulang Kampung’, back own home town to meet family, there were so many distinctive experiences that made this Lebaran unusual. As an Indonesian, we commonly use Lebaran instead Eid Al-Fitr, but basically they are same each other. So don’t be confused Guyrls! The Eid Al-fitr 1427 H, we did spend it in Mejene, a city where I am working in now, only with my wife and son. Everything did such a perfect sequences to the peak until the tragedy happened.

A day before Lebaran we went to the local marker to buy beef after we have became thoroughly saturated with chicken. You know, almost for 3 days we had chicken for broke-fasting and ‘sahur’, a predawn meal. A huge thank for my parsimonious wife who patiently re-cooked and re-re-cooked the chicken again and again. That’s why I love you more and more Beb!

After a long queuing, waiting indulgently, we finally met our beef, even though there is always, sorry to say, ‘Kampungan Person’ who do not standing on the line. It exactly evoked my anger, but I did remember that I was fasting right now. For this person who arbitrarily infiltrate while other person standing on the line patiently, I just wanna say :

“Who do you think you are?
Running around leaving scars.
Collecting your jar of heart.
And tearing love apart?” #Eh

After that we bought some vegetables and ‘kulit ketupat’. Gosh, I don’t know what is ‘Kulit Ketupat’ in English! Ketupat is a traditional food made from steamed-rice normally served at Lebaran. Before the rice is steamed, it previously filled into ‘Kulit Ketupat’ that made commonly from coconut leaf. I hope you guyrls get it clear!

Back at home, I started to cut the beef into small pieces, a single bite. Biar tinggal “LEP” gitu! Prepare all the ingredients to support my wife master-piece food! Yes, just for information, she has “A Hereditary-Ultra-Traditional Recipe” from her grand-mother, mother of my son’s grand-mother. I don’t know who exactly have created her authentic recipe but since I teased it, I think it must be come from ‘Nusantara Kingdom Era’ hehe

Eventually, D-day was really coming! I wore my best shirt even it is not a new one as well as my wife and my son. At 06.30 we all were ready for Eid Al-fitr praying in a yard placed in a new port. I was so excited, because it was something new for me praying in a port not to mention its picturesque view; clear sky and sea as well. The wide view made me like pray in the middle of the Pacific. Trust me, I am not in ‘peres’ or lying now. I could say, everything was incredible for short.

Soon after I got there, my son and I sat on the first shaff, a line/row when start to pray. Everything just been fine until my son started to cry hysterically while keep his eyes closed. I tried everything to make him stop crying but useless. He wouldn’t open his eyes yet. I wondered, he acted like trapped in the eeriness. He definitely made me puzzled at that time until I realized that we sat next to an old white-long-bearded man. Oh binggo!

I moved immediately to another line, far away from that old man, so that we could not see those grandfather. Then instantly my son stopped crying. During waiting the  praying begin, I observed many people who come in to the port area. I found them very unique, unparalleled, fabulous, and of course out of the box! I know it’s not a good thing to do but somehow it quite made me amused, hehe.. There was a couple of women, maybe they are sisters, they wore a very sparkling set clothes that make me wondering if I was attending ‘Dangdutan’ not Eid Al-fitr praying. There were also girls who used a very high heel not to mention there were uncountable hijab styles. I did not say anything in order to respond them, I just smiles, smiles and smilesss by myself. I hope no one was staring at me when I smile lonely then they think that I was crazy. In addition to that, I also found an old white-bearded used a massive robe so it looks like a wing. Then fortunately those grandfather sat in two line ahead and different side, quite far away from us.

At the beginning of praying, the MC told us about the schedule bla.. bla.. bla.. then “Baiklah selanjutnya sebelum memulai shalat Idul Fitri kita dengarkan khutbah dari Ustad, kepada Ustadz kami persilakan..” said the MC let ‘Ustadz’, religious leader or teacher in Islam, to give a talk before we start praying Eid Al-fitr together. Then the Ustadz took his placed, standing in front of us. And the Ustadz was the grandfather dressed like a bird. Suddenly my son started to crying again very loudly even louder than before. In no time, I became a center of attention, thanks Honey (||_||)! Everybody look at me want to know who was crying on. They stared at me as if to say “Take your son home or we’ll kick you to the sea!” hehe.. just my imagination! I did a lot ways to make him stop crying; I made him sitting in my own leg, stroked him gently, searched some elephant pictures and streaming transformers in youtube as he used to do at home but unfortunately FAILED! I need life vest right now!

I felt so ‘Galau’, so confused, whether I had to take him home or “survive” here no matter what they say, stayed cool! But eventually, I indignantly decided to take my son home. I thought that perhaps I would feel guilty (as this praying not obligation but recommended optional praying) if I did not pray but I would be worse if I disturb other while praying. Next I took my motorcycle then went home..

“Aku pulaannnggg..
Tanpa dendam..
Ku terima, kekalahan ku..
Aku pulanggg..
Tanpa dendam..
Ku salutkan, kemenangan mu..”

When we got home, we just stayed in terrace like refugees because the key wasn’t in me but in my wife who at that time was praying in port. It couldn’t be more perfect! My son just sat at ‘bale’, something looks like table but use for sit instead a chair. He sat back to me, his face never look back at me after I yelled and scolded him. Maybe he felt upset to me as well as what I felt to him.

I just sit down in floor in front of the door. I start to browsing about “Cara Shalat Idul Fitri Sendirian”, how to pray Eid Al-fitr lonely. I don’t know is that allowed to pray Eid Al-fitr lonely because as far as I know it usually done together. I recall my son’s name “Fiddy.. fiddyn..!” but he never look back to me. He must be really angry to me. I finally pray Eid Al-fitr lonely after read an article in a popular website that explained to me in particular situation based on ‘fatwa’, islamic scholar desicion, a muslim may pray Eid Al-fitr lonely.

After praying I came to my son, sat straight in front of him and said “Maafin Babay ya Sayang udah marahin Fiddyn barusan.. Babay salah terlalu emosial Sayang!” I asked him to apologize me for short. He stared at me, crying, then I hug him very gently.

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